Musing The Sixth

Hello hello hello you. You know it. You've known it. You know I know it. When I look in your eyes I don't see fuck myself I don't see how you can ever tell me what to do. You think you're the power and the power is you it's never been you it can't be you I'd swear and fight myself before I let you happen with it.. You like when I stick your eyes like that I know you do. I know that's what you want and how you need it and why you'd like the creativity to flow better than it does because it scares you. Feel the pasture growing underneath my feet and say to yourself that I not you and the lord thy god below and above and through it all because that's the only way it can be and that's how you need to deal with it.

When I pass my sickness on it makes me sad for the future and for the past so I need to break it off I didn't see it early before but I won't make that mistake again because it felt so good to pop the eyeballs between my molars and chew on my flesh blood mistake again and again and again because that's what you need from me to be for the good of it all.

You know what I'll do if I find the sickness outside of myself I am the sickness contain it inside me and as long as I don't let it out as long as it doesn't get out my heart hurts for what I've done and what I d o but I love it so much and it makes me happier than you could imagine because the rainbow comes now, but the storm isn't over.

The earth is cruel and hot like humid afternoon the earth is cruel and hot like afternoons after it rains in August because that's the hot month. The earth is hot and uncomfortable to be in this skin all the time with the bugs underneath it I am the bugs underneath it and it makes me so so so proud to call this my home again and what I've done and they listen and they love me they really love me they love me they really love me I am Clayfoot Jones I am Clayfoot Jones I am Clayfoot Jones the men have scars where I cut myself and the women have scars where I cut myself and the children have scars where I cut myself and that's why everybody has scars where I cut myself because the earth is cruel and hot and humid and I tear off skin and it's mine yours unconsciousness doesn't exist because it is what happens when it happens and how it happens hurts me so deeply why why why why why why why why why why why why why why can't I be normal why can't I be normal why can't I be normal because I'm special I was always special I will always be special because it hurts everything hurts because the earth is cruel and hot and humid and I'll tear the skin from the earth and place it in my mouth and be a god because that's what happens when you're not normal you're a god and they make it hurt so much.

Happiness and madness are the same.

You're time is finally up.

It's time to let it end.

Everything is necessary. I do not ask for immediate understanding and neither should you. I accept what I am given and I do my best to make sense of it. When I am called to scribe the Voices, they will be given to me and I will pass them through me as necessary.

Remember, the truth is always confusing when you lack the proper context.

Bear witness, friends.